I think I've got myself all figured out. I'm seeing myself clean slate, white canvas blank right now. It's honest.
My head is half bare, i'm in a t-shirt and it's more skin than I'm used to.
Projects are coming together, I have hope for an artistic career, let alone life.
I know what I've set out to do, and fucking hell I will do it.
I feel accomplished, like myself, and it's rare. No due dates I'm putting off here. I'm getting everything wrapped up and finished pretty.
Laughing hard enough lately to feel the burn of it settle on my face; less makeup, less doubt. Bare.
I've not been one for such adjective. I'm usually layers and layers but everything seems to be getting simple.
I'm just sitting here thinking "I'll spray walls if I wanna, I'll rip old memories apart for new ones if I wanna. If I wanna sing in front of you i will, dance, spin. I could rip the grin off you right now if i wanna, I rather just walk somewhere deserted. I wanna and i'm getting and it's not believable."
What has stopped me before? I tried to live by "do what you love and fuck the rest." never successful.
you need the rest sometimes, but I don't need them the way I used to. I could stand in wind's way for hours til it turned dark and I do, and I'm getting away with it. I'm getting away with freedom.
I'm not sure anyone can understand me right now. I didn't know this kind of freedom existed. It's intoxicating. Addictive.
If I'm making any sound anyone can hear it's gotta be whale noises, all nothing to us but it's everything.
It's late, and i could run outside and play until morning, and only am i stopping myself. It's not rules and regulations, it's self-control and i can't mind it. I've lost the will to care for overthinking. It's all action now. It's all action, there's thought but no over analyzation. it's no way to live.
And damn, am i living.